Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Biggest Loser & Me - My 2009 Goals & Inspiration

Looking back on 2008
It's really funny to me just how much a TV show has affected my life. Those of you that know me are probably rolling your eyes and thinking "Really Rachel? You are a TV JUNKIE!" And that is 100% completely true...I love my TV. I love my shows. I have had TV nights with two of my friends in the past. Wine & food included. I LOVE LOVE LOVE reality TV. But for me, it's an escape...a way to release my own problems/stress/issues and engage myself in others! I have a friend that I text with on a regular basis to discuss the pros & cons of Speidi, Bromance and who's being the biggest bitch on The Hills. It's great to watch other peoples lives and think: Glad that ain't me!! But as much as all those shows are an escape for me, the Biggest Loser is my reality. It is in every fiber of my body, it affects what I do on a daily basis - the choices I make, the way I feel, the motivation I have. Everything. Season 7 started last night. The season that I auditioned for. The season that changed my life. MY SEASON. And as I watched it last night, I cried. Pretty much through the whole thing. Not because I was sad that I didn't make it. Not because I was angry that these people got the opportunity I would have died for. Not because I was jealous. I cried because the people on the show are inspiring. I cried because I saw myself in those people. I cried because I heard my thoughts coming out of their mouths. I cried because I realized that THIS is the path I've been searching for my whole life. There's this kid - 19 years old and 454 lbs with a life expectancy that won't exceed 30 if he doesn't make some changes. And he's making them. Why? Because all of a sudden reality dawned on him. The way reality dawned on me. We are all the same. They are me and I am them. And the Biggest Loser is changing our lives....whether I'm on that ranch with Bob and Jillian and healthy food to choose from or at home doing it on my own with tons of temptations facing me life is forever changed. Thanks BL....I owe ya one!

Things I'm looking forward to
*I start a new boot camp next Monday. Two days a week for six weeks. I'm stoked.
*My company just approved another round of the Biggest Loser Contest here - this time it'll go all year with quarterly prizes. I'm heading the committee.
*My friend Carisa got me into a Biggest Loser Contest that is run by someone she knows - we paid into it and will win money if we win it....and not a little bit of money....the last round they did had a pot of upwards of $1,000.
*Carisa and I will also be participating in a Lifestyle Makeover through our chiropractor that starts on 01/31/09 and that will have a pretty cool grand prize - like a trip to Disney World.
*That I'll be in New Orleans in less than two weeks

Things that make me happy
*Waking up at 4:30 in the morning to be at the gym at 5
*The girls meeting me this week and working their asses off
*My recent shopping spree (two-three sizes down) that got me $1500 worth of clothes for a fraction of the cost
*Being chosen to work on a big project at work starting in February
*That it's less than two weeks away until I go to New Orleans
*That I maintained my weight during the holidays
*That alcohol is no longer a good friend of mine
*That I have been smoke free for 19 weeks. That's almost five months.
*That I've been (mostly) alcohol free for 23 weeks. That's almost six months!! (I drank at my Christmas party and on New Years Eve.)

Things that inspire and motivate me
*A 20 year old bikini (Read it right...NOT a 20 year old IN a bikini)
*The girls meeting me this week and working their asses off
*Another shopping spree
*Florida in April
*My family
*Boot Camp

2009 Goals
*Reach my goal weight
*Wear a bikini
*Run a 5K
*See great results for the girls that have been working with me
*Strengthen my relationships
*Be the very best I can be

Word of the Year
I'm TOTALLY stealing this idea from another blogger - instead of making a resolution, she is focusing on a word to incorporate into her life...a word to strive for, to achieve, to define....and I fell in LOVE with that. But I have two words.....and they are:

I want to release the weight, release the past, release the hurt, the anger, and the pain that I have been holding on to. I don't want to just be a healthier person, I want to be a happier person. And I will never be completely happy until I release all the bad that I have been holding on to like a security blanket and face the reality of my life. My life is good but I can make it better.

I am making an effort to make forgiveness a part of my life. I am going to forgive myself for the mistakes I've made and the mistakes I'm still sure to make. I'm going to focus on forgiving the ones that have hurt me in the past, and the ones that will hurt me in the future.